Friday, January 30, 2009

My Child Is Not A P.O.W.

I have learned a lot about my son this past two weeks. He isn't quite who I thought he was. My philosophy as a parent in redirecting my child's behavior is that I must find a way to reach his heart in order to see true repentance (turning away from his wrong choices). As I shared with you last week we thought we were reaching his heart with the removal of the basketball game. No sir-ee. And then the cowboy boots, blankies, Wrangler jeans, basketball jersey, stuffed animals, every book and toy in his room, AND the television.

No sir-ee.

First thing Tuesday (or was it Monday?) morning I woke up to another puddle of pee on his bedroom floor.

My kid is special. Truly special. He has the capability of not caring about the things we thought were "oh so dear" to him. He's tough (and he's not afraid to tell you that after he falls down and doesn't cry. "I tough!")

It has humored me this week that in my girl's book group the chapter paralleled The Prairie Kid. The book is "If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat" by John Ortberg. I highly recommend this is a good one. But back to the parallel. How is it that an adult book on Peter's getting out of the boat would parallel my days of "The Peeing Preschooler"?

Resiliency. This chapter talked about how after Peter stepped out of the boat he became aware of the wind around him. Jesus was not approaching the disciples on calm waters on the Sea of Galilee. He was approaching in the midst of the boat being "buffeted by waves because the wind was against them". The author shows that this story parallels the "storms of life" one faces, especially after we step out in faith. And he talks about the fact that one only grows when their are problems and trials to face. He mentions that it takes resiliency to withstand the storms of life and come out having grown and not quit. Resilient people survived the P.O.W. camps of wars like WWII and Vietnam.

Resiliency. There were 3 characteristics of resilient people outlined in this chapter. And as I read the first one I realized that this was my son:

"Resilient people continually seek to reassert some command and control over their destiny rather than seeing themselves as passive victims."

Hooray! I have a resilient son! Oh no! I have to try to redirect him for the next 15 years!

Actually, I am pretty thankful. Yes, even if it means that it will be more challenging to reach his heart because he is able to reassert command over what is important to him. Because resilient people not only survive, they often thrive. They grow and learn and apply. They are willing to step out of the boat. That is the kind of person I wish my son to be.

Meanwhile, I will continue to learn through the "winds" of parenting and be able to offer you a place to get a good laugh at my expense. I know, so selfless of me isn't it?

1 comment:

Beck said...

I feel for you with the potty thing! I have to say potty training has been a longer journey for us than I ever expected it would be. We had a problem with Max having accidents last week that we haven't had in over a year. Turns out he was "too busy". He hasn't been as busy lately without the computer or tv, which has seemed to get the point across. I agree with you about the book (it's a good one) and it's truth. Now it's just a matter of shaping that little will in the right direction, hard work!