The Gauntlet

The process to adopt is insane. You spend thousands of dollars, and what seems like thousands of hours, to prove yourselves over and over and over again. The motivation behind the work is amazing, however. I don't know if there is a stronger motivation than our kids. Even if we don't even know who they are yet.

There is an ongoing crazy cycle of hurry up and wait. Work like crazy, submit, pay and wait. And wait. And wait.

You celebrate every step and then realize it just puts you on the path to another wait before the next step. And you wait. And wait.

You check your mail as if your life depended on it. Really, it feels as though your awaiting child's life depends on it. One day, sometimes even one hour, feels like a thousand years. Time seems to suspend itself in almost a standstill slow motion. Torture. Torture. Torture.

You sometimes feel like you're going crazy. You wonder, ponder, plan, dream, fret, pray, and stir.

And on and on it goes. There are no definite timelines. The finish line constantly moves. The roller coaster twists and turns and jerks you around and exhilarates and excites and makes you sick and scared. There are disappointments, surprises and long periods of nothingness in between.

All you can do is run to the Lord, throw yourself at the foot of the cross and trust He is really going to bring things to fruition and His timing is not wrong.

It is a painful but awesome opportunity to grow in faith and patience!